The Un-Bride

BY ŽENIJA ESMITS

Dresses: Hands down the part of this whole wedding thing that I’m entirely on board with. I have very particular taste. Colossal surprise right? If you know me, then you know I am not the ball gown type. However I am TOTALLY the type that wants to try on ball gowns. Let me say it’s very easy to tell what suits your personality when you’re trying a whole mess of crap on.

Like I said last time, I went with two of my BFFs. They were perfect and unexpectedly, had similar opinions when it came to what suited me best. We went to two shops. The first was in New Westminster (and will remain nameless), where a couple of friends had great success. The second was Blush in Yaletown where I knew the selection would be outstanding (more on them next time).

Both places had a good selection actually. However Blush’s service was far better. The New Westminster location had an outdated and unfriendly business model. The sales associate who was appointed to me was a terrible choice – she was barely personable, though she did attempt to accommodate my style needs.

I tried on enormous ball-gowns, Gatsby inspired slips, bias-cut Grecian dresses and most things in-between. Changing and un-changing was one thing. But the biggest problem was when the consultant scolded one of my friends like she was a toddler (hilariously, there IS a photo). In my opinion, the issue of not taking pictures in bridal salons is ridiculous. Understandable in some cases I suppose, (like in the 1950’s when you’re Givenchy and you didn’t want your designs ripped off by some hack). However in this day and age with platforms like Pinterest - really, what’s the fear? Most people want to mull over their clothing choices (never-mind wedding dresses) and this particular shop wouldn’t even tell me the name of the designer of the dress I liked*. Based on this policy (and the mediocre “consulting”) I would not buy from them, even though they had my favorite dress of the day.

Me: barely able to shuffle. 

Me: barely able to shuffle. 

One particular dress was completely misguided (I honestly don’t know what the consultant was thinking). Trying to walk in it was futile, the yards and yards of tulle made it impossible to find my own feet. Though, at times I was sort of able to shuffle. I almost fell over some other chick trying on dresses next to me. I tried to crawl but the dress suffocated me at the knees and I couldn’t even bend over. It was a dream come true. It was everything I imagined wedding dress shopping to be.

Corsetted, trussed and bolstered - I had had enough trying on to last weeks at least. We were starving. The obvious choice for food was to go for Dim Sum. My bff’s let me order whatever I wanted. I got gassy and bloated and in prime condition for the next round of dresses.

Tune in next time to see my convincing impression of this album cover:

*Update: with some clever sleuthing BFF #1 was able to find the designer name and style and has sourced it in several locations across the United States of America