The Un-Bride

By Zenija Esmits

The dreaded wedding is coming up fast (hyperventilating into a paper bag).

So far I've managed to sidestep the traditional land-mines. No wedding party, only minor issues with guest attendance & no bachelorette. I have only been subjected to an un-orthodox in it's laid back-ness, bridal shower. 

In fact, the fact that a shower was thrown at all was astounding. All my friends know how I detest parties and people and in particular, parties and people that draw attention to me. Hence not relishing the idea of a wedding period. 

But my clever girls threw together a shower, with a delicious and sensible theme (Cheese and Musicals) - they did it quickly and almost stealthily. Except I'm a genius and I can see right through them. The gifts were kept to a minimum, which is great because Boyfriend and I don't need a damn thing. We are 40, have lived on our own since the mid 90's and have lived together for 5 years. Guess what, we have cutlery. 

Anyway, the shower was great. Each guest brought a cheese, the girls went in on a wicked engraved cutting board (something we actually needed to replace) and then the cheeses were set out for all to enjoy. There were bubbles and cookies and cakes. There was a virtually impossible quiz designed expertly by my mother. Everyone failed - even me. There was croquet and my sister-in-law let me win. It began at 2:30 and we were done by 6. Very civilized. No muss, no fuss and no novelty pillows cross-stitched with life affirmations. 

And you know what? I got a shower without having a bridal party. I didn't have to not-so-subtly ram the idea down a friends throat. This is what I've come to realize. I have superb friends. They are not in the wedding and as a thank you for not making them buy a mandatory $300 confection, they have all offered to help wherever they can. This is what it's all about. So far I haven't tasked anyone with tying boutonnieres or anything, but I know that they are there when I need them. Even if it's only to rant about the Groomzilla I'm marrying. Honestly.

Posted on August 12, 2015 and filed under The Un-Bride.